A Christmas Story (1983)

Ralphie (Peter Billingsley) dreams of receiving a Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas. When his mother asks him what he wants, he quickly says "an official Red Ryder carbine action 200-shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time". Her response, "you'll shoot your eye out".

The movie is filled with small sub-plots concerning life in the 1940's for a 9 year old boy. His wait for his Little Orphan Annie pin, his avoidance of school bullies, his brother Randy's (Ian Petrella) inability to eat a full meal, a tongue frozen to a flagpole, a father who has a supreme war with a furnace and the dogs next door. The worst of all, having to wear a bunny costume made by an Aunt.

Ralphie's father (Darren McGavin) enters a contest in which he must name the Lone Ranger's nephew's horse. His mother (Melinda Dillon) comes up with Victor as the correct answer. He gets notification that he has indeed won the prize (a major award) and it turns out to be a lamp that looks like a sexy leg (yeah, a statue). His father insists on putting the lamp in the front window much to the chagrin of his mother.

While shopping for their Christmas tree, the car gets a flat. Ralphie is told to help his father and while holding the hubcap that is holding the lug nuts, his father hits it and the nuts go flying. Here is where the famous "Oh fudge, but I didn't say fudge" line comes from. He also professes his preference for Lux as opposed to Lifeboy soap as he is a connoisseur of the soap used to wash out his mouth.

Back at school, Ralphie has written his composition on what he wants for Christmas, a Red Ryder BB gun.. He butters up his teacher, Miss Shields, with a huge fruit basket, but still gets a C+ along with a note that says "you'll shoot your eye out". He feels that his mother had gotten to Miss Shields. Dejected, he begins to walk home only to be confronted by the school bullies, Scut Farkus and Grover Dill. They throw a snowball that hits Ralphie in the face. Ralphie explodes and starts to beat Scut up. Grover runs away and says that he is going to tell his Dad (like all bullies do). Ralphie begins to swear just as his mother runs up and calms him down. She tells his father about it, but quickly changes the subject before he asks questions. Ralphie realizes his only chance left to get his gun is to go straight to the man himself, Santa Claus.

The family watches the Christmas parade in town and he and Randy get in line to see Santa. It is not the experience that either of them expected, especially since the "Big Man" himself, when Ralphie asks for his BB gun, says "you'll shoot your eye out kid, Merry Christmas, HOHOHO!".

It's Christmas morning and all of the presents are opened except one that is hidden from view. His father had gotten him the gun as he had one when he was 8 years old. Ralphie goes out back to test out his gun and, you guessed it, hits his glasses with a BB "oh my god, I shot my eye out!". He tells his Mother it was an icicle. While his Mother helps him in the bathroom, the neighbors dogs come in the door and eat the turkey.

The family goes out to Chinese food and have Chinese turkey (duck). Ralphie falls asleep with his Red Ryder BB gun in his arms. Merry Christmas!

The photo above is a real Red Ryder BB gun owned by Ron's father when he was a child (thanks for the photo Ron!). The Little Orphan Annie pin, the actual model from the movie, is mine.

Most of this movie was filmed in the Cleveland area and in Ontario. Based on short stories as well as the story "In God we trust, all others pay cash" written by Jean Shepherd. Many of the landmarks such as the school name come from the author's own life. A couple of people from Canada have made a documentary that goes to all of the landmarks from the movie called "Road trip for Ralphie. Be sure to tune in for at least one showing of the continuous 24 hours of "A Christmas Story" on TBS beginning on Christmas Eve at 7:00 p.m. I triple dog dare you!!

93 Minutes. Rated PG. I give this movie FOUR AND ONE QUARTER STARS!